Dirty little secret
by anime kaz
Summary: Jiraiya has a secret stash of books and Kakashi has found them...but what will tsunade say when she finds out what they are about? ONESHOT


I do not own Naruto. I do not own any Naruto characters. I am not a Naruto character nor am I married to one. If you thought I was maybe you should see some nice people in white jackets that will take you to a 'nice' 'safe' 'happy' place.

Dirty Little secret

Tsunade sat at her desk with a rather aggravated and yet quizzical look on her face. This look was not directed at Naruto like one would expect but rather his sensei and team mate Kakashi.

Kakashi had been umming and arrring for five minutes and although Shizune was rather enjoying seeing this rare side of the amazingly skilled ninja, it seemed only to make Tsunade's patience wear thin.

"Kakashi...If you have something to tell me hurry up. I don't have time to watch your indecisiveness." She snapped as she rested her head on her hand.

Kakashi let out something like a cross between a sigh and a groan. Slowly he began digging through his vest and placed several orange books on her desk, before stepping back and just looking at her silently.

Tsunade looked at the books, recognised the style of the cover, the red crossed circle and immediately diverted an angry glare right back at Kakashi.

"Why have you dumped this porn of Jiraiya's on my desk? Do you expect me to do something?" Kakashi sighed and realised it was completely hopeless thinking she would understand without him telling her.

"Lady Tsunade... I have to tell you something. It is none of my business but I believe it is yours..."

"What are you talking about?" Although still carrying the look of anger and annoyance she had to admit her curiosity had peaked. Kakashi gave a nod toward Shizune and with an understanding nod of her own Tsunade dismissed her from the room. As the door shut Tsunade was quick to get back on the subject,

"Now Kakashi. Let's start from the start."

"Well Missions have been slow of recent days and this means I have had time to catch up on some of my reading. Unfortunately I caught up rather fast. Bored I believed I needed more training on my recon skills..."

"No. Jiraiya is out training with Naruto somewhere and thus neither could give you a sneak peak of his latest love love paradise book." Tsunade interrupted as she eased back into her chair. Kakashi gave a small nervous laugh.

"A-anyway...I broke into Jiraiya's house and searched the place with every spy ninjutsu I know. I came across a hidden bookcase filled with books that have never been in the bookstore. I snagged a couple for..." Kakashi struggled to think of an excuse but realising he had already been caught out once he jumped right to the point,

"Any way. I read them and... well... I think you should read them and see for yourself."

"I fail to see what this has to do with me." Tsunade queried as she leaned forward again.

"Trust me." Kakashi said as he turned and left, closing the door behind him. Tsunade sighed and took out a flask and small bowl like cup.

"Well he is a trustworthy ninja, despite his taste in reading material." Tsunade mumbled as she poured some sake into the cup. After a nice long sip she took out the first book and began reading...

That was yesterday. Right this moment she is running through the forest, her eyes burning with fury, hot blood pumping through her veins as Naruto and Jiraiya ran as if the devil were on their heels! Okay, so Tsunade is worse...

"JIRAIYA!" She screamed as she thrust her fist to the ground, barely stopping to watch the ground crumble or listen to the terrified screams of the teenager and his master.

"Naruto...This is all for your training...I'm sorry." Jiraiya said seriously.

"What are yo..." Naruto tried to ask but before the sentence was complete he found himself tripping over Jiraiya's leg, falling face first into the dirt. As He slowly pushed himself off the ground her paused, hands still on the ground and sweat dripping from his face as the fiery glare of Tsunade bore holes into his back.

He let out a scream as Tsunade heaved him from the ground, holding him up by the collar of his jacket and just centimetres from her face as she snarled,

"WHERE IS HE GOING?"

Jiraiya sat crouched behind a rock. Only he and Naruto knew of this training place so he sighed a sigh of relief before bowing his head.

"Your sacrificed shall indeed be remembered in legends to come Naruto."

"As will your horribly painful death." Tsunade growled from the other side of the rock. Jiraiya had frozen completely, unable to move out of fear... the only thing that eventually made him move was the sound of the bolder exploding from a powerful Tsunade punch. He tried to scurry away, but she caught his arm, twisting it painfully before pushing his back against his free arm and a rock, pinning his free arm.

"You can't do a hand sign while in this position, you can't summon and if you try the Rasengan you will tear up you back and it will do nothing if you use the hand I am holding upright." She was right. And with her strength Jiraiya was out of luck.

"You are looking lovely today Tsuna..."

"SAVE THE FLATTERY FOR YOUR BOOKS! WHAT IS THIS CRAP?" Tsunade yelled as she pulled a book from her ample bosom. It took a while for Jiraiya to focus on the book rather than her...erm...you know.

Once his eyes finally focused on the orange cover his face went pale excluding a slight blush to his cheeks. He was sweating buckets and his voice failed to work. Tsunade growled under her breath and threw the book to the ground.

"YOU HAVE 237 BOOKS HIDDEN IN YOUR ROOM ALL FANTASIZING ABOUT ME? WHAT THE HELL? IF KAKASHI HADN'T FOUND THEM I WOULD NEVER KNOWN WHAT CRAP YOU WRITE ABOUT!" Yep she was mad, and Jiraiya's voice was still failing horribly... he did however think 'note to self, ban Kakashi from buying any more of my books.'

"DID YOU THINK I WOULDN'T FIND OUT? DID YOU THINK YOU COULD SECRETLY SELL THESE BOOKS TO YOUR BEST PAYING CUSTOMERS? YOU DIRTY, PERVY SAGE!" Naruto's nick name suddenly hurt Jiraiya when coming from her lips but that accusation helped find his voice,

"I never have nor will I ever sell those books. And they are not dirty. I admit my others required much research but those..." He stopped talking when he saw the confused look in her beautiful eyes, the wind catching her hair and playing with it before his eyes. He sighed in resignation, eyes closed and head tilted down as he talked.

"They are my personal, one of a kind, collection."

"Why?" she bluntly asked.

"Don't make me say it Tsunade...If you really read them you should have figured it out by now." Tsunade blushed, releasing him and averting her gaze. Jiraiya smirked as he rubbed his shoulder.

"Why didn't you tell me how you felt?" Tsunade whispered, the wind grew stronger and made it hard for Jiraiya to catch what she said but he knew anyway. It didn't take a genius to guess what she was thinking.

"Because... despite the fact I was by your side, you fell in love with Dan. And even when he died you swore you wouldn't love another. Why bother when you have already decided?" Tsunade blushed deeper as she looked away.

Jiraiya thought she would hit him, but she didn't.  
He thought she would walk away but she didn't.  
He thought she would agree but she didn't.

Naruto stumbled into the clearing of boulders, wondering if Sakura was skilled enough to heal his master's life threatening injuries he was sure to have. Although he didn't know why he should bother when that damn pervy sage used him as a delaying tool. Sacrificing his student's life so he could escape the clutched of the insane Hokage. Naruto looked up and stopped dead in his tracks, watching in shock as Tsunade kissed Jiraiya's forehead...

She felt the cold steel against her lips and pulled away slowly. Jiraiya's mouth hung open in pure shock...or maybe joy. Tsunade turned, the wind carrying her soft voice to his ears,

"Maybe if you tell me I would accept?"

Jiraiya watched as she walked past Naruto, whom was frozen like a statue with his bottom lip practically hitting the ground, she ruffled the teen's hair before heading back to the village. Jiraiya smiled as he whispered

"I love you Tsunade."

as he watched the blonde teen pointing at himself and Tsunade he thought silently to himself 'note to self: give kakashi a free years subscription to love love paradise.'

Authors note: Hope you like! This pairing was actually suggested to me by two people, one is a friend of mine. Not on this site so let's call her... meow_ninja_cat! She knows who she is. It was also suggested by the awesome NinjasWillRuleTheWorld Thanks guys for the suggestion!

So if you have a Naruto pairing please let me know! Only on two conditions will I write it...

If I like the pairing (and yes I do like several pairings being mixed up)

If I know the characters. I only have the first 27 Naruto mangas and up to the forth collection of shippuden in DVDs.

Also this story, along with other short stories of various Naruto pairings, will be in my combined Naruto pairing story Ninja's need love so please check it out!

Thanks so much for reading! Bye awesome readers! Love you!


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